Wearing your heart on your sleeve
… you’re exposed, you’re raw, you feel it all and sometimes all at once. It is not easy living with your heart on your sleeve. In fact, at times it can be painful. It’s the easiest way to damage the most vital part of you. I have always been sensitive. My heart always being the first to show up and most stubborn to leave. Being exposed to feeling all the time meant a lot of hurt. Every hurt meant a stab at my self-esteem. I often feel unworthy, even un-loved. I have so many good things around me, yet I have this endless cycle of self-hate. When I was younger my life was driven by what my heart felt and would often leave my brain behind and the rational thoughts it could provide. It can be downright exhausting the battles they have. I feel more than others it’s a special part of me that I was gifted. I have learned to use it, to love endlessly to those deserving. Even when it is exhausting to care so much it will always be a a part of me and always worth it. I see the world through different eyes. I love people at their weakest moments and i’m OK with the energy they steal from me. Its all part of my purpose.
As I’ve grown in age, I realize that, yes, I am a vulnerable person, but I am starting to find joy in my stories, even the hardships… because through it all I held tight to love, to Hope. Even if the cover is worn, the edges are wrinkled, its still my story. Through the pain I still allowed myself to dream, even though the nightmares I would search the flowers in the weeds just to see the brightness of their color. I often love the things that are forgotten, the broken. I tend to look at everything with hopeful eyes. My heart cry’s for others pain. Dream’s for others wants. I Will carry the burden to weight you down less. For those I love, they get the best of me, they get it all. I will continue to wear my heart on my sleeve and make my mark on the world. I will continue to smile for those who can’t, cry for those who won’t, love where it is needed. If I deny these things, I would be denying who I am.